You were not the only one. That and more in this week’s LOL-inducing, insightful and character-limited words of wisdom that helped me run my business last week.
Please excuse Billy from school as he will be changing passwords all day.— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) April 10, 2014
What if the Mona Lisa was actually a selfie?— Melissa Stetten (@MelissaStetten) April 6, 2014
Respond to the next email your mom sends you with "Unsubscribe"— Michael (@Home_Halfway) April 9, 2014
I wonder at what age I'll finally understand Gross vs. Net— Ali Wong (@aliwong3000) April 10, 2014
In movies and TV, why don't computer hackers ever use the mouse?— Betty F*ckin' White (@BettyFckinWhite) April 10, 2014
I don't count sheep, I re-read your text messages.— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) April 9, 2014
How about a Kickstarter to payoff the actors from The Goonies to not do a sequel?— Shawn Garrett (@ShawnGarrett) April 8, 2014
Whoever named the computer virus 'Heartbleed' is a poet.— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) April 10, 2014
If having an unread email in your sent folder isn't a cry for help, I don't know what is.— Joel Ingersoll (@FlyoverJoel) April 10, 2014
Competition for Scariest Sounding Cough in the office is fierce, though a few might be faking to get out of tomorrow's presentation.— Meeting Boy (@MeetingBoy) April 10, 2014
Your brand is defined by the interactions that people have with it everyday. #ForrForum— Forrester Research (@forrester) April 10, 2014
Today, politicians make decisions based on polls. 50 years ago LBJ was willing to do what was right at the expense of what was popular.— Simon Sinek (@simonsinek) April 10, 2014
Every successful leader has a bucket of wisdom filled with things that didn’t work. #leadership— Dan Rockwell (@Leadershipfreak) April 10, 2014
Blaming others for YOUR mistakes and decisions will not erase the consequences.— Steve Keating CSE (@LeadToday) April 10, 2014
Customer experience is simply a collection of memories. To improve the experience, develop memorable content. #ForrForum— Vala Afshar (@ValaAfshar) April 10, 2014
Attended a funeral today. Must tweet less, think more. No one on their deathbed will ever say, "Wish I'd done MORE social media."— David Wild (@Wildaboutmusic) April 7, 2014
Our uniqueness eliminates competition; instead focus on how your strengths benefit the company.— Elinor Stutz (@smoothsale) April 10, 2014
Combine your “why” with the desire and dedication to be the best and a passion for what you do, and presto, career success! #gitomer— Jeffrey Gitomer (@gitomer) April 10, 2014
I know doctors say a glass or 2 of wine a night is good for you, but how many are we supposed to drink in the morning and day?— Lauren Reeves (@laurenreeves) April 9, 2014
Using social media to become a resource for things other than what you sell shows the customer that you want to deliver value.— Shep Hyken (@Hyken) April 7, 2014
I am so glad I have never seen Game Of Thrones because it makes everybody unbearable and I'm already pretty hard to be around as it is.— The Guyliner (@theguyliner) April 7, 2014
I don't know, maybe I love this blackberry— Joshua Topolsky (@joshuatopolsky) April 9, 2014
I even think companies should send a #Heartbleed PSA if they're NOT using potentially affected software. It's called peace of mind.— Molly Wood (@mollywood) April 10, 2014
I wonder how much of the interest in Heartbleed from mainstream media is a result of it having a cool name and an awesome logo— Mathew Ingram (@mathewi) April 10, 2014
"If I am the only one who knows how to do this, then my job is safe," said the mediocre employee.— Vala Afshar (@ValaAfshar) April 10, 2014
Heavy Facebook users tend to receive lower grades in school, are more narcissistic, and are more likely to have low self-esteem.— UberFacts (@UberFacts) April 10, 2014
State of the Industry: Companies are strengthening their skills by hiring, training, and no longer carrying under performers.— AMSP (@AMSProviders) April 4, 2014
Gene Marks owns the Marks Group PC, a ten person sales and marketing technology consulting firm outside of Philadelphia that serves more than 600 small and medium companies around the country.
Gene Marks CPA is a small business expert and analyst and the author of five best selling books on business management including "The Manufacturer's Book of Lists," "In God We Trust, Everyone Else Pays Cash" and "Outfoxing The Small Business Owner."
Gene is President of The Marks Group PC, a ten person technology and management consulting firm that serves more than six hundred companies around the country. Gene was formerly a senior manager at the international accounting firm of KPMG. You can follow him on Twitter @genemarks.