Tweets of the week: Here are the latest LOL-inducing, insightful and character-limited words of wisdom that helped me run my business this week.
— Kim Garst ツ (@kimgarst) October 7, 2013
Why don't male models ever tie their boots?
— Richard Lawson (@rilaws) October 7, 2013
Everyone is a better tweeter than headline editor. Writers should start with a placeholder headline. Tweet the story naturally. Use that.
— Joseph Weisenthal (@TheStalwart) October 7, 2013
Can’t look up shutdown’s impact on real yield curve because the government’s shutdown. #smh
— Matt Yglesias (@mattyglesias) October 7, 2013
Hey, all Hotels... where do you buy those Kleenex boxes that only have 4 tissues in them?
— Brian Scully (@BrianRScully) October 7, 2013
I’d rather be in a human centipede than a group text.
— Rob Fee (@robfee) October 7, 2013
Making fun of someone's age is like mocking them for getting hit by a train because you're standing a little further down the tracks.
— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) October 6, 2013
It's against the law to get married in a bathing suit in Oregon.
— UberFacts (@UberFacts) October 7, 2013
That extreme delight when you suddenly realize the non-obvious-but-oh-wow connection between an NPR story & the music transition out of it.
— Seriouspony (@seriouspony) October 10, 2013
You just know that, in the end, the whole budget shebang is going to come down to carried interest
— James Pethokoukis (@JimPethokoukis) October 10, 2013
Going forward, all emails with the subject "Why [literally anything] matters to millenials" will be auto-archived.
— Dylan Matthews (@dylanmatt) October 10, 2013
Is there a technical name for that annoying persistent horizontal navbar thing which sits at the top of so many websites these days?
— felix salmon (@felixsalmon) October 10, 2013
I will pay you $5 to cover up that Banksy.
— Richard Lawson (@rilaws) October 10, 2013
I'm done being embarrassed about my boring taste in sushi. If it looks like it killed Nemo's mom, I'm not eating it.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) October 10, 2013
My favorite part of public speaking is wishing I was dead every single minute until it's over.
— Josh Hara (@yoyoha) October 10, 2013
Either everything you do has meaning. Or nothing does.
— umair haque (@umairh) October 10, 2013
T-Mobile plans to make mobile rates cheaper while abroad, but flying to Switzerland to save a few bucks on a call seems... inconvenient.
— Chris Pirillo (@ChrisPirillo) October 10, 2013
Entrepreneur: "we have solved interoperability for the nation" me: "oh, how" Entrepreneur: "well everyone just has to use our platform"
— claudiawilliams (@claudiawilliams) October 10, 2013
BIG NEWS I moved my cat's water bowl and he seems to appreciate the new location MORE INFO AS IT DEVELOPS
— Andrés du Bouchet (@dubouchet) October 10, 2013
Actually doing work at work is sooooo overrated
— NYC Blonde (@NYC_Blonde) October 7, 2013
One good thing about govt shutdown: CNN has officially become the 24/7 People Yelling At Other People Yelling Channel.
— Denis Leary (@denisleary) October 10, 2013
Blackberry ads are the poster boy for "too little too late"
— Giulio Gallarotti (@GiulioCG) October 10, 2013
Flying is so luxurious when you don't have your toddler with you- I liked getting reacquainted w/ having a beverage on my tray table!
— Cassie Divine (@divinecassie) October 10, 2013
Curious if someone could point me to an objective model that argues for 8%+ returns for US equities for next 5, 10 years?
— Meb Faber (@MebFaber) October 9, 2013
A clean CR & debt ceiling raise is *not* a "blank check". It's a check filled in with actual numbers and another limit.
— Tony Fratto (@TonyFratto) October 10, 2013
But, but, DOL said computer glitch was fixed last week. Or is this the randomBSgenerator.xls glitch?
— zerohedge (@zerohedge) October 10, 2013
Gallup reports that Republican party favorable rating of 28% is the lowest rating for either party since Gallup began tracking this number.
— Tom Peters (@tom_peters) October 10, 2013
Many liberals are convinced that Chris Christie's personality is off-putting to voters, even though empirical observations show otherwise.
— Josh Barro (@jbarro) October 10, 2013
Gross:Now that shes made history how wil she shape history? More dovish than Bernanke but runnin outta ammo. Depends on fwd guidance.#Yellen
— PIMCO (@PIMCO) October 9, 2013
BREAKING: European Union lawmakers award top human rights prize to Pakistani schoolgirl Malala Yousafzai.
— The Associated Press (@AP) October 10, 2013
People still defending #Obamacare remind me of lifelong Star Wars fans trying to defend the prequels.
— Dan Joseph (@DanJoseph78) October 10, 2013
In related news: The State Dept finalized $5 million order for crystal glasses and bar accessories one day before the government #shutdown.
— Anonymous (@YourAnonNews) October 9, 2013
Is there a support group 4 parents who've had 3min of their life stolen by being forced 2 watch the "What does the fox say?" video?
— Audra McDonald (@AudraEqualityMc) October 9, 2013
Ah, to be a fat man at Halloween. According to Amazon, I have a choice between Shrek, a pirate, and dubious Prince Charming costumes.
— Brian Kidd (@ilooklikeskippy) October 10, 2013